After registration me and Brazzy made our way to the Maths
room which is directly above the French room.
Mrs Function clearly has a creepy fascination with numbers as they’re
all over the room!! They’re on the blackboard, in our books and she even talks
in numbers sometimes. Today she said, “One had two go two the canteen four dinner. I eight my
dinner there off their tables.” Canteen is the number after thirteen I think. We all had to measure each other and write it
in a graph. Apparently you can tell what
mode it is by looking in the middle of your fingers. I’ll remember that for exam time.
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| TIS WITCHCRAFT!!!!! |
I worked out that the average height of the
class is 8 foot six, but we’re metric now so that’s 8 meters six[2]. I can also do two cubed by median quadratic
matrix square root venn diagrams.
They’re not on the exam though.
We got homework; we had to add up everything that we see from the end of
the lesson until next lesson and hand it in.
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| Actual footage of someone else's Maths homework |
The bell went to signal last break – so I went to Dairylea
house to play table tennis. It’s really
difficult to hit a table back and forward across a net with a racquet. I decided to hide behind the curtains and
pretend I was a bluebottle for a bit until the bell sounded once more to signal
last lesson – Physics.
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| Barry hiding behind a curtain pretending he's a bluebottle looked nothing like this |
Physics is apparently all about movement and density. Kazzy, the slapbag, is dense and doesn’t move
very fast so he should be good at this subject.
He’s not though. Mr Tedious likes
to demonstrate stuff so I like this lesson.
He made some iron filings stick to a magnet. It’s probably the most exciting thing that’s
ever happened to me in my life ever. He
then went too far; he depolarised the magnet and the filings just fell
off. My heart rate still hasn’t gone
back to normal.
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| Dutch footballer, Arjen Filings |
He showed us Fleming's left hand
rule (for electric motors) which shows the direction of the thrust on a
conductor carrying a current in a magnetic field. At least I think that’s what he said – it
looked more like how to accentuate your point whilst rapping.
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| Yo, yo, yo, homie. West side. |
Personally, I think they should give Physics
homework out to people who have to do community service. That’ll teach them! Well, it’ll teach them
Physics at least. At the beginning of
the lesson we managed to trap a first year between our chairs and the leg holes
in the lab tables. We let him out after
10 minutes of struggling. He had chewed one of the metal chair legs off. The teacher gave him detention for chewing in
class. Me and Drazzy were talking so the
teacher came over, pressed his forehead against mine and in a thick Yorkshire
accent said “Have you feeneeshed[1]?”. Still not sure what I did to deserve that. After the lesson I timed it just right so that I left the classroom behind Shazzy, who I fancy. Once out of the room, she went left and I went right. If I do that often enough she might marry me one day.
[1] The
English translation is ‘Have you finished your work because if you haven’t, you
shouldn’t be talking’
[2] Eight metres six metres - so, ten metres in total
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