Tuesday, Third Lesson, Environmental Studies

Third lesson was Environmental Studies, which the teacher, Mr Bunsen calls E.V. for some reason.  Surely that would be Environmental Vudies? We all got on the school mini-bus which every sponsored school event over the past 26 years paid for[1].  It’s got no seat belts.  

Who knows?

We drove to a river in the country and collected a sample of the green foamy acidic water to study.  The teacher said that we could tell how polluted the water was by the insects living in it. I asked if you could tell by the insects floating upside down coughing up insect-bile in it – he said you could.  I saw a mayfly, a stone fly, a Macfly and a Fly Tattendent.  The teacher said that the water was very polluted.  That was worth a 20 minute drive in a bus with no suspension over cobbled roads.  We got back to the classroom and put the water samples in the cupboard for next week, or until the teacher gets thirsty (whichever is soonest).  I’m going to invent an aerosol that sprays ozone back into the air and is propelled with CFC’s. I might also look into inventing a chicken that lays ozone then we can have loads of ozone layers.

Either the ozone layer or the start bit off Superman

After lunch I ran around the playground and got a stitch, indigestion and diahorrea, all at the same time.  Max[2] once burped, sneezed, coughed, farted and wee’d all at the same time.  He hasn’t been invited back to the computer club since.  There were some girls playing hopscotch in the corner, one had to go to hospital as her shin bone had come out through her kneecap.  Me, Lazzy and Cazzy decided to make the corner near the French rooms popular by standing in it. Loads of people came over to see what the fuss was about until the entire school yard was empty except for our corner. Everyone is an idiot.

This has been heavily photoshopped and airbrushed.

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[1] Each time they’d raised enough money, inflation had put the price of the mini-bus up meaning they had to raise more money and so forth until inflation was scrapped in 1983.

[2] Not Max’s real name.